


Stuck

by devin1039



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Happy Ending, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, lindsey and gerard is only really mentioned, sadfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 15:02:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9553790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devin1039/pseuds/devin1039
Summary: “It feels dark inside. Like everything is rusted over.” Gerard whispered. “It feels like I'm sinking. My days blend together. I don't know what's real. It's like the train has gone off the track.” He added with his eyes squeezed closed. “I wanna go home, but nowhere feels like home.” He finished.





	

Gerard had been smoking outside on his patio, maybe a little drunk and depressed. Okay, a lot depressed. Which was... The whole reason he had been drinking anyway, honestly. But he hadn't admitted that to himself yet. He never seemed to be able to escape the voices, the suicidal thoughts, or the hallucinations. That wasn't the point, though. The point was, he was keeping his eyes on a shadowy figure just outside the light of the nearest street lamp. Gerard couldn't be sure, though, because his eyes always played tricks on him; made him see things that weren't really there. 

Gerard let out a shaky sigh and took another drag of his cigarette, keeping his eyes trained on the person? Shadow? Hallucination? Whatever it was, it seemed to be swaying slightly, vague grey face tilted up towards Gerard. And Gerard was fucking terrified, but he was stubborn. And drunk... So he wasn't going back inside just yet. He finished off his cigarette and flicked the butt over the edge of the patio. The figure took a step back and tilted its head down for a moment. But then, sure enough, slowly it looked back up at the terrified man who had his hands gripping tightly to the patio railing. 

“You don't look so good.” The person called up to him, voice gravelly and even. Gerard jumped, nearly falling over. The voice laughed, though not unkindly. “Don't fall, now. That wouldn't be any good.” He added, voice a little quieter. Almost too serious. 

“Who are you?” Gerard demanded, voice a little hysterical. But, like, he was totally not scared. Not at all. Or at least that's what he tried to convince himself. The truth was, Gerard had almost pissed himself when the man below had talked to him. “It's late.” He added, knuckles white on the railing of his patio. The words shouldn't really have been important, but to Gerard they were. It was late. This was his time to sulk and be alone. As if that wasn't always. 

“Yeah. You can call me Frank.” The man called Frank said with no alteration in his tone. He pushed his hood off of his head and offered a sad smile up at the other man. Gerard found the wording concerning. 

“Why are you here?” Gerard demanded. He was on edge, but he would never admit it. “Why are you... Why are you just looming around? You could give someone a heart attack.” He said exasperatedly. He reached in his pocket and lit up another cigarette to calm his nerves. He knew he was being rude, but he couldn't stop himself. He was... He was fucking petrified. He'd finally admitted that to himself, at least. 

“I think you know why I'm here, Gee.” Presumably Frank said in a gentle tone. Gerard froze, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He did. But the thing was, he felt backed up against a wall. He felt suffocated. Stuck with no way out. This had to be a hallucination. Had to be. 

“Are you here to take me to the other side?” Gerard asked. He thought about Carol Anne from Poltergeist and couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh. Frank just smiled sadly and shook his head. That puzzled Gerard. 

“I'm going to try to talk you out of it first.” Frank answered. Gerard laughed at that and shook his head, but then there was a gust of wind, almost as if the big guy was getting annoyed with him. “I'm a cherub. Usually, uh, we don't concern ourselves with the living. It's kind of frowned upon.” Frank said while pulling a face. “But I talked to the big guy a while ago. This is kind of my thing now, because, um...” Frank was silent for a moment, and Gerard had a bad feeling he knew what was coming. 

“Because?” He asked anyway, voice soft with empathy. 

“Because this is how I died.” Frank said, voice clear and resonating. Gerard felt like he was free falling. The words played back in his head, over and over, and he felt as if he was drowning. “I killed myself. The man downstairs wanted me.” Frank explained. “He used to usually get the ones who died like this. But, uh... I was in Purgatory for a little bit, while they fought over me. Still don't really know why, other than God thought I was...Useful. He saw potential in me or whatever.” Frank explained with a little laugh and roll of his eyes. He didn't seem like any angel Gerard had ever seen in movies. 

“And now I'm the one who brings people like... Like us to the other side.” The angel added with a little shrug. “If you go through with it, that is. Which I sincerely hope you don't. That's kind of the bad part of this job. Sometimes there's nothing I can do. It hurts to watch.” Frank paused a moment before saying. 

“There's nothing for me here. Nobody cares about me. My life is worthless and pointless and depressing. I feel stuck. I want out.” Gerard said, voice wavering slightly as he talked. He tried to keep the tears in. “I don't even smile anymore.” He added in a whisper, but he knew that Frank would hear it anyway. Frank looked up at him sadly and nodded once. 

“I know that's how you feel. I know it's painful.” The angel said in a soothing tone. “What about your little brother? He loves you.” He asked after that, and Gerard just scoffed and rubbed at his eyes. 

“He never wants to see me anymore.” Gerard whispered. “And I can't blame him.” He added sadly. 

“He does, Gerard. It's just hard on him to see you in so much pain. He doesn't know how to help. But he still loves you, and he thinks about you all the time. You don't answer his calls.” Frank said patiently, shaking his head slightly with a soft smile. Gerard nodded a little and let out a shaky breath. 

“It feels dark inside. Like everything is rusted over.” Gerard whispered. “It feels like I'm sinking. My days blend together. I don't know what's real. It's like the train has gone off the track.” He added with his eyes squeezed closed. “I wanna go home, but nowhere feels like home.” He finished.

Frank just looked up at him with a concerned expression on his pale face. “The drinking makes it worse.” He told the man on the patio, voice cautious as to not evoke anger. The man on the patio simply hung his head and sighed slowly. “I know this is one of the hardest things you've had to do. Survive, that is. But if you kill yourself, Gee, you'll be missing out on so much. You'll be missing out on the happiness you would have had one day.” He explained, then smiled a little. “You end up married to a wonderful woman and you have a daughter. Mikey and you help each other get over all of this. You become a real comic author, Gerard. You even work on Spiderman! And when Mikey and his wife have a child, you'll be there just like he is for yours. You'll all be happy.” Frank rambled. “You just... Have to wait it out.” 

Gerard was crying now, rubbing at his eyes with his cold fingers and letting out soft huffs of breath. This all made him feel so disoriented. This was so hard to handle. Maybe he didn't want to kill himself. He just wanted to feel better. 

“Contact a psychologist, yeah? And call your brother.” Frank said gently, sensing that Gerard might be one of the ones he'd save. Gerard simply nodded a little and looked to Frank with wide, watering eyes. “It's going to be alright.” Frank said softly, looking up at the crying man and giving a small shrug and reassuring smile. “I'll be waiting for you once you're sent upstairs, but I don't want that to be any time soon. You've got such a- God forgive me- Fucking awesome life to live!” Frank exclaimed. There was a rumble from the sky, and Frank just laughed softly and rolled his eyes. Gerard managed a small smile and shook his head. 

“Thank you. I... I'm gonna call Mikes.” Gerard said quietly, and Frank nodded. “You better be the first one I see up there. Give me the grand tour and everything.” Gerard joked, wiping his face on his sleeve. Frank just laughed and nodded once again. 

“I will. You'll be alright, Gerard. You were always meant for great things.” Frank said, but even then he was fading away, and then he wasn't there anymore. Gerard glanced to the drink he had set down on the patio, kicking it over the edge unceremoniously. Soon he went back inside and called his brother, who answered despite it being four in the morning. 

“Do you want to get coffee tomorrow?” Gerard asked into the phone. After Mikey had made sure his brother was alright for the moment, he'd told him that he'd like that very much. And he also had a friend he wanted Gerard to meet. Her name was Lindsey, and Mikey told him she was just as nerdy and weird as they were. “Do I have to shower?” Gerard joked into the phone, which made Mikey give a soft huff of laughter. 

“I think you should. Maybe wear some clean clothes. But just be yourself, yeah? We met at her band's show, and I think it would really work out with you guys. We've actually been friends for a little while, you know? We both play bass. I talk about you all the time, and she's super interested in meeting you.” Mikey just kind of talked for a while, happy to finally be talking to his brother. Glad he was okay. Gerard had a smile on his face as he sat on his bed, listening to his little brother's voice. For the moment, they were both alright. That was all that mattered to Gerard. 

Frank arrived back upstairs with a checklist in hand. He smiled to himself and let out a soft sigh. He'd saved two people back to back today, and he was incredibly happy about that. The Way brothers were safe, and would be living out the wonderful lives they had ahead of them, together and happy. Frank considered that a good day of work.


End file.
